Even E.T. was allowed to phone home. But then, he was a good alien. Donald Trump is right about some things. Private planes are expensive. Golf courses are popular. Robert Pattinson should have dumped Kirsten Stewart. His other policies are hair brained, to say the least. How can you tell if your neighbour is speaking Muslim? Is a mosque a kind of hedgehog? Can I get fries with that burka? You can't trust the media any longer, but there's no need to fret: 'Don't Panic, I'm Islamic' provides you with the answers. Read this book to learn how you too can spot an elusive Islamist.